By Christian Bossert
Last week I threw out this question on Facebook:
“What is your favorite gym etiquette faux pas?”
The responses were amazing.
“When men give unsolicited advice to women (extra cringe-y when the women are clearly in much better shape than them).”
-Zac, Frankfurt, Germany
C’mon guys. What are you trying to accomplish here? Shifting in on a girl clearly minding her own business is a bold move (is bold the right word?). She’s clearly focused on her workout and you come in like a wrecking ball. Has this move ever worked for anybody? The end goal here is to impress her with your masculinity, make yourself look smarter than her, and the damsel in distress gives you her number. If this method has ever worked I would be shocked.
Your chances plummet by 1000% if the girl is in way better shape than you. The truth is, most girls who workout by themselves do not need your two cents. They do not lack confidence in themselves. Period. By dropping unwanted workout advice you make yourself look like a complete idiot and you annoy the heck out of the girl.
Believe me, there are plenty of girls I’d like to strike up a convo with at the gym. There is a time and place for this and it is my personal belief that you don’t ‘pick up chicks’ at the gym. Working out is focused precious time to better yourself. Maybe I’m too strict, but that’s where I stand.
“Couples' PDA.”
-Alan, Nashville, TN
Just don’t. You know it when you see it. No need to go here. Not at the gym. Please.. just don’t.
“Not wiping sweat off of benches.”
-Matt, Memphis, TN
Total fail here. Wiping sweat of the equipment you just used takes an extra 10 seconds. It’s not about the time though. It’s about the awareness. If you don’t care about the equipment you use this is an indictment on you as a person. I understand if you forget or if you’re not sweating. But please, if you’re dripping sweat and walk away from a pool of your own sweat you are a total loser.
“When girls show up with FULLY DONE hair and makeup... I can't ... ✋🏽”
-Inna, Atlanta, GA
For the record, I have no qualms with anyone who chooses to get ‘made up’ before going to the gym. I’ve been told wearing makeup can be a form of ‘pre-workout’ energy boost. Putting on makeup can create motivation and confidence. You do what you want to do. This comment is a reference to those looking for a boyfriend at the gym (not those arriving after work). This move is almost (key word ‘almost’) as bad as the guy who drops unsolicited advice to the ladies. I personally wouldn’t go after ‘makeup girl seeking boyfriend at gym’ simply because I don’t hit on girls at the gym. Just not my thing. But plenty of guys will take their chances. Be prepared for all the unsolicited advice you can handle.
“When you are on a machine and somebody stands over you stalking and staring at you waiting for you to finish like don't rush me go away.”
-David, Virginia Beach, VA
This is a total creep move. What are you doing? Why are you hovering and staring at me like I stole your wife? How do you think I’m going to react? I personally will look the weirdo in the eyes and say in a genuine confident calm voice, “Hey, what’s up?” This usually gets a quick response and inevitably leads me to explaining how much longer I will use the equipment. I have never run into an argument using this method. I suggest following my lead.
“When a man’s leggings are tighter than mine.”
-Brittany, Baton Rouge, LA
This is great. I literally laughed out loud from this one. If I told you ten years ago the trend for men, gay and straight, in 2018 would be wearing leggings for working out, no one would believe me. Man leggings are in and they aren’t going anywhere. I think they are cool and beneficial to performance. Not for me. I go for loose shorts and the sweat wick tees. You do you.
“When people are just sitting at a machine texting or whatever way longer than an average rest period.”
-Erica, Knoxville, TN
We’re hooked. The smart phone straight up robbed us of our sense of awareness. I’m guilty too. Unfortunately the temple of hard work and sweat, the gym, has been looted of it’s focus. Our attention spans are shorter than ever
The longest acceptable time period for resting at the gym is 3 minutes. If you’re resting for your ‘bulking’ workout be aware that you are not the only person in the gym. If you want to use a machine that someone is ‘resting on’ simply ask them how much longer they have on the equipment. Stand up straight, look them in the eye, relax, smile, and simply ask them. Guarantee you they won’t be a jerk. The biggest dudes in the gym are generally very nice. They will allow you to work in if they have long rest times during their workout.
“When they don't re-rack plates and dumbbells. When three "bro's" are working out together and spend more time flexing and talking smack than actually working out.”
-Scott, Asheville, NC
Nothing drives me crazier than people who don’t re-rack their weight. Toss that in with a total Brofest flexing in the mirror and I may just lose my mind. This is 100 times worse than unsolicited advice guy. Re-rack your weight. Do it. It’s the law!
…
Send your mailbag questions and comments to cbossert14@gmail.com.
